reciprocity (n): the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit

Last week, as I was getting ready for the day, I thought about conversations around inclusivity and the love God. At the heart of these dialogues is the belief that God loves people no matter what they do. I believe people are more likely to come to God if they understand He loves them. What’s missing from many of these conversations is the reality that God has a standard for how we live our lives, and that He has a right to do so. On this particular morning I thought about how self-absorbed we can be in our relationship with God and forget He desires reciprocity.

Most people understand relationships thrive or diminish based on reciprocity, respect, trust, and consistency. This is true in families, platonic and romantic relationships, and in the workplace. In contrast, once people come to church, the idea of reciprocity with God seems to go out the window even as people volunteer for ministries and attend services on a regular basis.

In some Christian circles, I have heard people say, “God doesn’t need you! He’s powerful all by Himself.” I get what they’re trying to say, because God can accomplish His purpose in a variety of ways. The Bible depicts God calling people from all walks of life. Nonetheless, we too often forget that God is relational. Worse yet, we may cultivate a narcissistic relationship with Him in which He exists simply to meet our needs. God wants to engage with us on a more meaningful level than listening to our needs and wants. Reciprocity demands that we also listen to Him. We all know what it’s like to be in a relationship in which one party expects their needs to be met without taking into consideration the other party would like the same.

In John 14:15, Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commandments.” Many people have replaced Jesus’ words with, “God understands my heart” which allows them to live in any manner without accountability or reciprocity. If we are to please God, we also need to ask ourselves whether we are even interested in understanding and responding to His heart.

I believe God is looking for people who are interested in hearing from Him about His concerns, not just their own. I know the process of sitting with God long enough to hear what He wants to share with us is an ongoing one because of distractions and responsibilities.

Lord, forgive us for thinking our spiritual walk is all about fulfilling our needs and building the lives we want. Help us to be reciprocal in our relationship with You.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One of understanding.” -Proverbs 10:27